June 17, 2015

Why we aren't sharing our baby names...


Our baby has a name. Well, in theory at least. We have two names picked out -- one for a boy, and one for a girl. But we're not sharing. With anyone. 

Adam and I have played around with baby names since we got engaged. We've had different baby name "lists" and even a "final" list at various points prior to this pregnancy. Spoiler alert: None of those "final" names are going to be "the name". But, we love the name(s) we've picked. It's different. It's not too "out-there". It's completely our style. 

So, why not share then?
Frankly, we aren't sharing because we don't want to. 

As much as I love my friends and family, I don't really care if they like the name(s) we've picked out. I don't. I know that may sound harsh, but Adam and I love the name and that's all that matters to us. I know that if we share the name(s) early, we open ourselves to all kinds of opinions on it...

"That's a little too weird, don't you think?"
"Wouldn't you prefer something a little more traditional?"
"I don't think that flows well with the last name."
"Are you sure you want to spell it like that?"
"Have you thought of all the nicknames?"
"I don't like it. Not at all."
"Did you even think about family names?"
"I would prefer something else."
"I guess I'll just have to come up with a pet name I like."

While the rest of the world is allowed to have an opinion on our child's name -- Adam and I aren't required to care about that opinion. I don't mean to sound rude, but that's just the truth of the matter. 

Now, by not sharing the name, plenty of folks are assuming that we're planning some outrageous name like "Apple" or "Gadget Inspector." Rest assured - we are not. But we also aren't Top 100 name type folks so our choices are a bit unconventional in a way. I am very excited to see people's eyes light up when they get to hold our bundle of joy and get told the name in person. Let's face it -- once you are snuggling up to a tiny baby, who really gives a flip about whether it's the name you would have chosen or not? Not many people. 

On a related note, I'm also struggling with what name things to share here on the blog once Baby "Florken" arrives. I'm fairly certain I'll share the first name but I waiver on whether I should share the middle. Obviously, I'll refer to the baby as a "Florken" even that that won't be his or her real last name but I am starting to worry about sharing too much of my child's life online before they are old enough to have a real say in it. For example, I actually go by my middle name and have since I was born. I hate my first name. It would have sucked if my mom had a blog and shared my full name with the entire world before I was old enough to say, "Hey wait. Let's just keep it at Kate." Maybe I'm overthinking this parenting thing too much. Maybe I'm not. Who knows. I'm not sure of a lot these days. 

But I am certain that I love the name(s) we've settled on. They make my heart smile. They make Adam happy. And honestly, they already feel like they are part of the family. 

What more could a girl want?

18 comments :

  1. My sister and her husband didn't tell anyone the baby's name until she was born. It was a really special moment and you're right, none of us even cared what her name was when we were hearing her squawk for the first time!! Everyone will always have an opinion about e v e r y t h i n g related to your baby so just keep doing what the two of YOU want to do! Also, I love how you're doing your bump pictures. I've never seen them that way before!

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  2. We aren't telling anyone our baby girl's name until she's born in August. It's been fun to share that with just my husband and I and I think it will be even more fun for everyone to meet her and find out her name once she's here!

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  3. I agree with you. When my sister was pregnant with her first, she told everyone she was having a girl and what she would name her. We all hated the name and were very vocal about it. I was 13 at the time so I think I get a free pass on this one ;) She went with it anyway, and the minute she was born, I fell in love with her name and realized how perfect it is. 14 years later, it couldn't suit her more perfectly. When my sister had her 2nd, she kept the name a closely guarded secret. I definitely plan on using that experience to keep my future name quiet until the baby is born!

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  4. When my husband and I have kids, we most likely won't share his/her name either. I would hate to rethink our decision just because someone else says they don't really like it!

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  5. I'm with you... on all of it! I don't care to share my (future) baby's name and I don't want to be the mom to share their entire lives online before they have a say. I see people making Facebook pages for their kids when they're infants and I'm going WHAT!? What is this world!?

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  6. We chose not to tell people for exactly the same reasons. We didn't want people sticking their oar in and telling us what they thought of our choice. Unfortunately, our niece who was about 18 months old at the time, named her new doll the same name we had chosen for a boy. Someone laughed that it would be funny if that was our choice, and our faces gave the game away so our family knew about it, but no one else did. Once baby is born, no one is likely to voice their opinion other than to say they like the name.

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  7. my husband and i have already said that when that time comes, we aren't telling anyone before either. for basically the same reasons - people put their opinions out there too much. BUT if they hate the name once the baby is born, they kinda have to shut up about it ha. good for you for keeping it to yourselves :)

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  8. We have only shared the name with immediate family (parents and siblings only). People give us weird looks sometimes when we say we aren't telling, but I'm with you.. it will be so fun to tell them in person when they meet our little girl! She's due 2 months from today, and we can't wait!

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    1. Oh, and also, I am struggling too with how much to share about Baby Bum when she comes. I'm not sure I even want to share her first name publicly. Internet creepers and all that. I DO want to include her on the blog, of course, but I want to respect her and not plaster her all over the internet before she's able to have a say for herself!

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  9. What?? Florkens isn't your surname? I always thought it was such a funny, cute sounding surname and had surname envy :P

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  10. Love this! I'm determined not to find out the sex of any future babies I have and not really share the name. I would hate to feel guilty about using a name I love because someone close to me voiced their dislike. Plus, like you said, once you see the baby it doesn't matter if it is called Inspector Gadget the love will be there regardless. (Ok, that might have been an extreme example, no child should be named Inspector Gadget.) :)

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  11. We have names picked out as well. I don't want to tell anyone either. I can't wait to see baby florken.

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  12. I really love this post! One of my favorite girl names in the past was Max...Maxley Jane actually! A friend said "oh gosh, everyone will call her Maxi pad" and it sounds so silly, but I was like WHY DID I OPEN IT UP TO CRITICISM!!!!

    I totally get it! If you guys love it, that's ALL that matters!

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  13. Okay, well this made me really want to know what your first name really is! I respect your decision to not share 100% I just can not wait for you to have the little one and announce it!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  14. Haha I love this! Super impressed with you guys (and I'm secretly rooting for Gadget Inspector, sorry)

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  15. We didn't share The Dude's name with anyone until he was born. 1) Because they really didn't need to know. It was for us to know and everyone else to find out. 2) Maybe he wasn't a "X" and it would suck to have to "re-name" him. We didn't it is a great name and suits him well. All the same, it's like with anything: your baby, your rules.

    Clearly I don't post about him in the "real name" sense, just in case you go that route, it's totally easy and people will deal with it, curiosity placed aside. He's "The Dude" or "The Little Man (TLM)" on my main blog, and "Bean" on the doula blog. :) Again, your baby, your rules. :)

    I LOVE PREGNANCY/BABY UPDATES. Love.

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  16. I'm nowhere near the stage of having a baby but somehow my mom & I got talking names and I told her my boy name and she completely shot it down, but I still plan on using it one day, nobody knows my girl name except for my best friend, & that's the way it will stay.

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  17. A few years ago I shared with my mom that if I had a son, I was considering naming him after my grandmother, using her maiden name, Tyson. She then proceeded to tell me that the name reminded her of frozen chicken nuggets - my own mother!! I think people say things they normally wouldn't say because the baby isn't "real" yet, I couldn't imaging people saying some of their opinions to another person face to face. I know she didn't mean it, but now every time I think of the name, I too think of Tyson brand chicken nuggets and it makes me SO angry. When the time comes, I definitely don't plan on sharing potential names with anyone at all.

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