June 26, 2015

He caught me at my "best"


The other night, as I was getting ready for bed, Adam said something that has stuck with me for days. 

You see, I was exhausted after a long day at the office being pregnant. That's pretty much all it takes these days to exhaust me: Work & Pregnancy. But as I stood there in the bathroom, Adam caught me completely off guard by saying, "I really like it when your hair is like this. I know you think that your hair needs more volume or something, but honestly, it's beautiful to me at this very moment and so are you." 

I hurried over to the mirror, convinced that something must have happened to my hair in the last few minutes in order to elicit such a compliment. Nope. It was exactly how I remembered it from my last glance. Nothing "special" about it necessarily -- I had fixed it for work earlier in the day and threw it up in a messy bun upon arriving home. I had recently taken it out of the bun to sleep and so it simply hung on either side of my face -- still a bit messy and a bit styled. To me, it did not look special. Personally, before being seen in public I would have insisting on either redoing it correctly (i.e., add some volume for goodness sakes) or putting it up in a proper bun. To me, it was tolerable, but to Adam, it was perfect. He liked it like this "best."
For days, his random compliment on my flat, lack-luster hair has stuck with me. I think about about it whenever I catch a glance of myself in the mirror and wish I had better skin, better clothes, better hair, better style. Whenever I start to doubt whether I've put on too much weight, or fear I haven't gained enough, I think back to Adam telling me that he liked that version of my "best."

He loves me all the time. He always thinks I'm beautiful. But he thinks I'm at my best when I'm not trying. He thinks that I'm at my best when I'm in mismatched sleep clothes with no makeup on with my hair hanging unstyled. He may think I'm beautiful all dolled up, but he likes me best when the last thought on my mind is what I look like. 

If we have a daughter, I hope he tells her she is beautiful at moments like that. Moments when she is covered with mud from playing outside when she is curled up in PJ's on his lap with damp hair from her bath. Girls should be told they are beautiful when they least expect it...when they aren't trying. They should obviously also be told that they are smart, kind, loyal, friendly, and brave. But Adam's compliment this week has taught me that the word beautiful is often tossed around too lightly and at inopportune moments. After all, throughout the day plenty of people tell me that pregnancy looks good on me or that they like my new dress. But, I'm not still thinking about those compliments, am I?

The next time you want to tell someone they look fantastic -- wait. Wait until they don't expect it. Wait until perhaps, they won't even believe it. Wait...because if you do, I promise they will be thinking about it and blushing for days.

8 comments :

  1. Awwwwww the sweetest <3 <3 You're so heartwarming for sharing this post and making it into such an inspirational bit of advice x

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  2. This is so sweet! He's a keeper!

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  3. <3<3<3 This is absolutely precious!!!

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  4. Yes!!! I have a similar post going up next week. Can I link to yours in it?!?

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  5. That is so sweet. Gary says stuff like to me but i blow it off. next time i hope to really take it in.

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  6. This weekend we were working on the deck. Well, Eric and his grandpa were. At one point I got on the ground, covered in mud and sawdust, and started staining the bottom half of the deck. I was probably at one of my worst moments, 36 weeks pregnant, 6 hours into the blazing sun and my husband tells me I look adorable and that he loves my hair. Of course I assume he must be joking because my hair is in the nastiest ponytail in the world, but he was serious. I started to cry because HORMONES. I will never ever forget that moment though. Sometimes you just really need it when you least expect it.

    Kudos to Adam for making a simple statement into something perfect that won't be forgotten!

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  7. There is so much in this post that's important. I don't even really know where to start. The giving of compliments is really important in a relationship. My father never told me I was pretty or beautiful. He was obsessed with women and the way they looked, but he never once gave me a compliment about how I looked. I grew up striving so hard to be 'attractive'; wearing lots of make-up, dressing a certain way. I knew my husband was a catch when he told me I was beautiful, when I was ruffled from sleep and dressed in my grubby pyjamas. And he continues to tell me whenever the mood strikes, including immediately after the birth of our son. It's changed the way I feel about myself. That's the power of words. Which is why I completely agree that we also need to compliment our daughters, our sons, our friends, and our family for all sorts of things.

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  8. You two are the sweetest!!! Absolutely precious!

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