February 04, 2015

Why I haven't posted...


It has been quiet around these parts lately. A part of me feels like I should apologize for that, but I won't. I've honestly needed some time for myself. I've needed time away to think... to cry... to unplug.

I know that I am still healing from my December miscarriage. I've learned to accept the fact that in a way, I will always be healing. I've also learned to accept the fact that no one, except someone who has gone through a similar loss, will fully understand how I've been feeling. Sadly, that means that even Adam -- my other half, my favorite person in the whole world -- just doesn't quite understand it. 
I haven't blogged because I'm not sure what I have to say.
To talk about it seems redundant, hurtful, and unnecessary.
To not blog about it seems disingenuous.
To blog about a household project or a date night with Adam seems frivolous and silly. 

In truth, life has gone on somewhat normally. I still wake up and go to work. Adam and I still have date nights and we continue to work on #FlorkenFirstHome. We sometimes hang out with friends. We still laugh, and yes... I still cry.

Some days have been good. Others have bordered on great.
But then, a hard day will come along and drag me down to the depths of despair I felt when it all began.

In truth, I haven't completely sorted out my emotional state at the moment and I feel like perhaps that is best done quietly. At home. With Adam.

In short, I'm not saying goodbye to blogging. I'm just saying that I still need some time. One day, hopefully soon, I'll wake up with a post that seems too genuine not to share. And somehow, despite my shifting moods or my sadness, I'll feel compelled to come back to this space I love and share it with you all. When that happens, it will be a big step forward for me. I'm honestly looking forward to it.

So here's to moving forward... eventually. 

29 comments :

  1. Still praying for you and thinking about you friend!!

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  2. Thinking about you!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

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  3. thoughts and prayers for you and Adam. it's a tough thing to recover from, and you're right... no one needs an explanation of your absence. I pray that y'all continue to gain strength and love from this. Sending thoughts and prayers and hugs your way

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  4. I know this is hard and it is such a lonely feeling but know we are thinking about you and praying for you. Take care of yourself and take your time healing.

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  5. Thinking of you and praying you continue to find comfort. <3

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  6. Take as much time as you need. Sending you love and hoping you find some comfort.

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  7. thinking of you and glad you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself!

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  8. Take all the time you need. I know how you feel and just know that it does get easier with time and that sometimes it comes in waves that eventually get farther and farther apart.

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  9. Take all the time you need, Kate! Everyone grieves differently. I'll be thinking of you.

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  10. Many prayers friend. Take your time and we'll be here when you're ready to come back.

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  11. Thinking about you sweet friend! Taking time for yourself is so important after a loss.

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  12. Take all the time you need. I hope you don't mind me suggesting, but maybe you could find a therapist that specializes in this sort of thing. I've had bouts of depression myself, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. We're here for you.

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  13. Healing takes time. Thinking of you, dear <3

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  14. Sorry for the loss. Take as much time as you need to heal.

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  15. It's good of you to be honest and take time away. Esp in a world where there is the tendency and pressure to over-share. Be private because that's the world we lived in before social media and take care of you. Hugs from Thailand.

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  16. I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

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  17. Dont apologize for you absence. Do what you need to do. My thoughts are with you <3

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  18. No apologies needed. You and your health (mental and physical) come first! Still praying and thinking of you,

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  19. take all the time you need...my "d day" was yesterday and I thought I'd be okay but I wasn't. Like I said before, it gets better over time but you'll still have rough days. keep your head up and know that you are not alone. *big hugs*

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  20. so sorry that you are going through this and take all the time you need. if blogging helps, do it. and if not, then don't. your number one priority is taking care of yourself. hope you continue to heal and feel better.

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  21. You are absolutely right - no one can understand what this is like unless they've experienced the loss themselves. Ours happened in November of last year and I just got up the courage to share what we've been going through this week. I agree with Jackie - if it helps to write/blog, do it. It not, do what you need to do to heal. Praying for comfort and strength!

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  22. Sending lots of hugs and love your way! <3

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  23. No apologies are needed, you need time & that's perfectly fine! I miss your blog posts, but I shall patiently await your return! Lots of love & hugs your way :)

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  24. I will be here when you get back and you both are in my prayers!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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