Late nights come in a lot of forms.
In high school, I'd often stay up late at night dreaming of my future. I'd try to imagine what college I'd go to, what friends I'd make, what career I'd pursue, and of course, which cute boy I'd meet.
In college, my late weeknights usually consisted of a project that I put off until the last minute. I'd sit at my computer, constantly checking my style manual for citation formats and I'd swear to myself that next time... oh yes... next time.... I'd get it done sooner. On weekends, I was usually up late dancing at some house party. More accurately, I was taking care of a drunk friend at some lame house party or being said drunk friend at some lame house party.
In law school, my late nights were usually due to stress. I'd get home late after school, work, and networking functions only to remember I had 40+ pages of cases to read for my class in the morning. I'd grab a snack and try to cram it and the 40+ pages back as quickly as possible. As a result, I'd usually end up with heartburn and worries that I'd be called on the next day and not understand the holding of the case.
Last summer, my late nights were weird. I'd stay up late upset over the impending bar exam and trying to remember if I had done everything on my checklist that week for the wedding. I'd quickly switch my brain between my Torts and Criminal Procedure outlines while also reviewing invitation lists. Then I'd wonder why in the world I couldn't just turn it all off and get some sleep.
Lately, my late nights have been different. I spend them dreaming and talking with Adam. Just the other night, for example, we swore that we wouldn't stay up and talk as we have so many nights as of late. I came home from work around 7:30. We ate dinner, cleaned the kitchen together, and then finalized Adam's blog post. Afterwards, we played a game of Hanafuda and grabbed a quick shower before turning in.
But then, like nearly each night in recent memory, we just talked. We talked about our future kids. We talked about our home. We talked about our families. We talked about our finances. We talked about movies. We talked about how much we loved each other. We talked about our dogs and cats. We talked about philosophy. We talked about politics. We talked about whatever happened to be on the tip of our tongues.
We laughed. We each tried to hog the bed. We stole covers and pillows. We pushed on each other and called each other names... all the while giggling like school children. And while we both knew that the minutes were ticking by and that soon the morning sun would be calling our names -- we both just soaked in the other's presence.
Finally, Adam succumbed to sleep but I laid there... dreaming again.
A lot has changed since high school but I still have those late nights. But somehow, my late nights now are infinitely better because they are filled with more than just dreams. They are filled by the stunning reality that I'm lucky enough to have stumbled across the man laying beside me. I'm not sure how it happened. I'm definitely out of the loop as to why. But he's here -- breathing deeply as I lay silently dreaming about a life where neither of us ever runs out of things to say.