June 23, 2014

Why I'm not ready for kids... yet

I am fairly certain that 90% of non-mommy bloggers either have this post already published on their blog or it is waiting its turn in drafts... So here goes nothing!

Here's the thing, I will be 28 in October. Some days, the struggle to keep my ovaries calm is for real yo. I mean it. I have to pass by the park every single day coming home from work ... and let me tell you! Whew! The sight of those kids swinging and squealing as they come down the slide just really makes me want to act rashly. But then I have moments when I understand that I am simply not ready.
For example, yesterday my sister and my brother-in-law dropped by our house in Little Rock on their way back home to Texas from visiting a friend in Nashville. (That was a lot of locations in one sentence!) That meant that Adam and I got to see our niece, Lizzie, for the first time in nearly 3 months! I was STOKED. She is walking now and it was so amazing to hold her, chase her, play with her, hug her, tease her, and feed her. I ate up every last second. She is too cute for words and holding her, this child that I love so much, I get really excited about loving something that is a part of me and a part of Adam... the miracle of biology and the like.
You know -- there are a million reasons why I probably shouldn't have children at this very second. You know them because they are the exact same reason that every blogger puts in post like these... The lack of booze and sleep. The fear about losing their body. The idea of being so responsible. The fact they like having their husband all to themselves at the moment. All of those reasons apply to me as well. (Oh, and before spending money on baby, perhaps I should make sure that all the rooms in our new home have furniture!) The list really goes on and on...

But after being with little Lizzie for almost 2 hours, a whole new reason hit me... I just can't keep up. I was seriously exhausted after she left. Once those little suckers learn to use their legs you have to constantly be on guard to make sure they don't get into crap. I didn't realize the peril that they can so easily get into...
Lizzie was tugging on the lamp's electrical cord, falling down on the tile floor, tugging at the dog's tail, crawling off towards the bathroom, tearing up the blinds. At every turn I just kept thinking about how fragile, yet resilient, she is right now. While she made me laugh, it also terrified me. I don't know how anyone can keep up with the kid and parents have to do it on less sleep than us Aunts and Uncles who only get a small taste of it. Yes. That's a BIG reason why I am just not ready to be a mom quite yet.

My heart might swoon when I see Adam holding our Lizzie. But for a bit longer, I will have to tell my ovaries to chill. It's just not time... yet.

18 comments :

  1. Yep... I have this in the drafts! I am just not ready. They are exhausting and I can't keep up. At work ppl were talking about the prices of day care too. That enough makes me want to put it off for a while. Hahaha but glad that you got to see her for a while.

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  2. I feel the same way!! We have decided to put off having kids for a couple years. I am 23 and he is 25 and we have been dating for 9 years this August and married 1 year last weekend so inevitably everyone thinks that we are just crazy but we both value our time together and if we decide that we want to just sit on the couch all Saturday evening we want to do so without chasing a baby around and I enjoy my sleep way too much. So we wait!

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  3. I have babysat for many years, and am the oldest of 5, and know how exhausting little ones are. Many years of waiting are ahead of me before I bring my own little into this world. Your niece is adorable though!

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  4. hahahaha! I love spending time with my friends kids but I'm not sure I'm ready yet!

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  5. Yikes man! Is it weird that after reading this post I want one even more? I totally get it why you don't though and it's a good thing that you recognize that now than when it's too late.

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  6. I definitely have this one sitting in my drafts - and at times my ovaries are begging me to get pregnant, while other times I swear they're "phewing" that they get to relax a little bit longer.

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  7. It does REALLY look exhausting, but I'm convinced that it's one of those things that no one's ever totally ready for, no matter how much you prepare. Somehow, moms just adjust to getting less sleep, to being exhausted, to chasing around a toddler trying to get into trouble. Because what other choice do they have? Haha! But definitely take your time... You have plenty of it!

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  8. I have 3, you really cant prepare for it you just evolve LOL adapt to your surroundings if you will. I still have days where I let them out of my sight and next thing I know cereal is all over the floor, my youngest has squished the cat in the door, and the oldest has given me another load of laundry to do. It makes NO sense haha.

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  9. I love kiddos and want one but when the time is right. I travel and roam a lot, just this weekend I randomly took a plane to the nearest island on a whim. I know I need to slow it down before kiddos or I wouldnt be able to keep up and will be raising them Kadashian style ... aka a nanny or my mum will be haha... so for the minute I relax and not worry (although I DO want kids NOW on some days).

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  10. I have a wee one and I have to say alot of it stems from them not being able to walk at first. You have time to reorganise things like fragile items or books that look interesting on bottom shelves. I do look at mothers who have more than one in awe though. How do you do that? I also learned alot of humility in having a child. Actually the humility is pretty constant haha.

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  11. Well first of all, isn't she adorable!? And as good as a baby looks on both you and Adam, I can't say I blame you one bit. Not that I'm anywhere near even thinking about having a baby of my own, I often wonder whether it's even in the cards for me at all. Sometimes I think I'm much better suited to be "Fun Aunt Alyssa" than "mom." I also am not sure if anyone who *wants* to be a parent is ever fully "ready," but I think you can definitely be more willing and prepared to make the sacrifices needed to raise a child. Good for you for knowing where you stand on that spectrum and for sharing this post! It's nice to know not everyone in the world is overcome with baby fever ;)

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  12. I am totally not ready for kids now...and I don't think I ever really will be. I have 4 nieces and 3 nephews and I love every bit of them....but when I think about all the work, the crying, the bodily fluids, the arguments, the worrying, the money....I think....I love my dogs and cat and am good with them! I like having the freedom to go to whatever I want whenever I want. It might sound selfish...but I dont really see them in my future and I am ok with that.

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  13. "Babyproofing" is definitely a real need when kids come around!! I think I'm definitely ready for kids--I've been around them my whole life (I have 6 younger siblings after all and had a nephew and a cousin born in the last six months), I'm very comfortable with them....for a long time the slow one was Angel. Now he really really wants kids too, but we're moving overseas next month so the timing of our desires might not have been the best.... :P

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  14. I am going to be 28 in August... that was hard to type.
    Hugs and I are in the same boat. We are no where near ready to reproduce. Maybe in a year or two. Maybe.

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  15. As always, I appreciate your honesty. I certainly wasn't ready for a kid, but God/fate/nature/whatever you believe in had its own ideas. :) Actually, I'm happy it happened this way because it's forced me to grow. It's certainly been a learning experience and in the end I know that everything happens for a reason! (PS: The no booze thing does suck, but the 9 months fly by!)

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  16. i have lots of reasons too, but so agree that trying to keep up with a kid is one of them. i get home from work and i'm lucky if i can even cook dinner for us and clean up and do errands before bed. i don't know how people do it! oh and i'm almost 32 so don't worry ha.

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  17. I feel the same way. I can barely take care of myself (with the help of my husband!).

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  18. I am so with you! Not til I'm at least 30...

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